Overcoming fear is one of the things we have to face after we lose our child. If fear is one of the emotions that you’re struggling with, then this post is for you.
I want to dive into what causes our fear, some steps on how you can overcome your fear, and then I have some Bible verses, some truths that you can claim and speak into your fear to help you have victory and freedom over the fear that’s in your heart.
How to Overcome Your Fears
Fear is one of the things that I have needed freedom from since I lost Sam. This is actually something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while, but I hadn’t felt like I could because it is still sometimes an emotion I struggle with.
But then I thought, “You know what, no, that’s why I need to talk about this.”
Because I know if I’m struggling with it, I know that a lot of you probably are too, and we all need to know what’s in this post. The steps that we can take to overcome this fear in our lives and the truth of God’s Word that we can speak and claim into this emotion we struggle with.
The fears that came after I lost Sam were ones I didn’t really struggle with before because I never had a reason to. But after I lost him, a fear that I struggled with a lot was the fear of losing someone else close to me.
It was a fear I didn’t even really want to admit out loud because I didn’t want to give it power over me, but it was there. Whether I spoke it out loud or not, it was there. I was afraid I was going to lose someone else.
I know there are probably other fears that come after child loss, but this is a big one for me. So, this is the one I specifically wanted to touch on.
If that’s you, if you have struggled with this fear too, then I want you to lean into this post. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart, and begin to use these steps and these Bible verses to really help you get freedom from your fear.
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What Causes Our Fears
The first thing I want to talk about is what causes our fear. Let’s take a look at what fear actually is. The Webster dictionary, when I looked up the definition of fear, had a lot of different definitions. But the one that I think really fits into this situation is “anxious concern”.
For my example of a fear of losing someone close to me, I’m going to replace the word “fear” with the phrase “anxious concern.” I want you to listen to how it changes in your mind.
So, instead of me saying:
“I’m afraid of losing someone close to me”
I’m going to say:
“I’m anxiously concerned about losing someone close to me”
It almost makes it seem less big. When you exchange the word “fear” or “afraid” with “anxiously concerned,” it seems defeatable. I can defeat this, I can get victory over this. Because I believe fear and the word “afraid” just feel so big in your mind.
So, whatever you’re struggling with right now, take the word “afraid” out. Say, “I am anxiously concerned about [blank].”
Coming at this fear then, from the lens of being anxiously concerned, what’s the cause of that? If we’re anxious or concerned about something, what’s the cause?
When we’re fearful, anxious, or concerned, I believe we’ve taken our eyes off of Jesus and looked at our fear, looked at our circumstances, or looked at the thing that’s giving us anxiety and making us concerned or fearful. Because there’s no way that we can look into the face of Jesus and be afraid.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Jesus is perfect love. He is perfect love, and so when this verse says, “Perfect love casts out fear,” that means Jesus casts out fear. So we cannot look into the face of perfect love and have fear.
When we have fear, we are not looking at Jesus anymore. We have taken our eyes off of Him and put them on our circumstances, put them on that fear, even if it’s a made-up circumstance.
Like for me, the fear of losing someone close to me. I have taken my eyes off of Jesus and put them on this “what if” scenario. “What if I lose someone else close to me?” That’s what I’m afraid of. So, it’s taking my eyes off of Him and putting them on my fear.
Now that we know what causes the fear – taking our eyes off of Jesus and looking at our circumstances – how do we overcome it? How do we overcome our fear?
Okay, so the answer is to put our eyes back on Jesus, right? Because if that’s the promise we have, that there’s no fear in love, perfect love casts out fear and makes it go away, then the obvious answer would be, “Okay, well then I need to put my eyes back on Jesus.”
But how? How do you take your eyes off of whatever it is that’s putting fear in your heart, whether it’s a real scenario or a “what if” scenario, like my example, and put them back on Jesus?
Because I can tell you all day long, “Put your eyes back on Jesus,” and you’re like, “How do I do that, Courtney? I need tactical steps. Tell me what to do to put my eyes back on Jesus.”
So that’s what I’m going to give you. I’m going to give you four steps on how to take your eyes from the thing that is gripping your heart with fear and put them back on Jesus, the face of perfect love, where when we look into His eyes, all the fear we have in our hearts will be gone.
Step 1: Recognize the Emotion
The first thing I want you to do is recognize the emotion. When you start feeling that familiar feeling of fear, stop. Physically, literally stop. And say, “Okay, what I’m feeling right now is my fear. That’s my fear talking. That’s my fear making up situations in my mind that have not happened and will probably never happen. That is my fear.”
Call it out. Say, “Okay, no, this is what I’m feeling right now, and it’s my fear talking.”
Once you recognize what that emotion is, where the root of that thought is coming from, it becomes easier to deal with it.
Say, “Okay, this is my fear talking.” We’ve recognized the emotion, and we’ve called it out.
Step 2: Tell Your Fear How Big Your God Is
The second thing I want you to do is tell your fear how big your God is. How do you do that? How do you tell your fear how big your God is?
Remind yourself. Remind yourself of all the times that God has rescued you. Remind yourself of all the times that God has been there for you. Remind yourself of all the times that God has saved you, all the times that He has picked you up and carried you, and all the times that He has put pieces of your shattered heart back together with His love.
In doing that, in reminding yourself and remembering all the times He’s been there for you, it’s going to do two things.
Number one, it’s going to make you realize and remember that you’re not alone. You’re not having to face this fear that seems so big and crippling by yourself. You don’t have to face it in your own strength, which is good, right?
Number two, if He did it once, He can do it again. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. All those times that He was there for you before means that He will be there for you again – time after time after time. He never wearies, He never grows tired, His strength never ends.
So when you remember all the times that God has pulled through for you, all the times He’s rescued you, and all the times He’s picked you up and carried you, you are literally telling your fear:
“My God is bigger than you. He has been there for me before, and He is with me now. I’m not alone. I’m not having to do this on my own strength.”
Step 3: Speak Truth Into Your Fear
Okay, so you’ve:
1-recognized the thought in your mind is based on fear and
2-you’ve reminded yourself and strengthened your own heart, remembering all the times that God has been there for you.
What’s the next step?
The next thing I want you to do is to speak truth into that fear.
John 8:32 says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
What is our truth? What is the ultimate truth in our faith? It’s God’s word. His word is the ultimate truth. It’s what we can build our life on, build the foundation of our faith on.
As Christians, we believe the Bible is God’s word, and according to John 8:32, that truth will set you free. So, the Bible verses that I’m going to give you in this post are the truths you need to receive freedom from the fears that are controlling your heart.
In those truths are your freedom.
These Bible verses are full of promises that we can claim and speak over our fear every time it tries to creep back into our mind.
These truths are weapons that we can use against that fear. In Matthew 4, when Jesus went out into the wilderness and was tempted by the devil, what did He use every time? Every time the devil came up to Him and tempted Him, He used the word of God against the devil. God’s word is a weapon that we can use against our fear.
Step 4: Repeat Every Time That Fear Comes Up
Then, step four, I want you to repeat these steps every time that fear comes up. I wish I could tell you that you do this one time and the fear will be gone forever. It could be. It’s very possible that you could do this one time and never struggle with it again.
But many times in this life, it takes persistence and consistency, doing it over and over again, and then you will get victory over it.
Sometimes it doesn’t happen after the first time, so I don’t want you to lose heart if you do it once and then the same fear comes back. You might think, “Did I do it wrong? Did I speak it wrong?”
No, sometimes certain things in life, certain emotions, are so big that they’re like a tree. When you cut down a tree, you’re not going to just swing the ax once and have it fall. If it’s a very big or deep emotion, you have to hit it over and over again, just like chopping down a tree with that ax. Over and over, and eventually, the tree will fall.
That’s how it will be with your fear. Every time it comes up, you just recognize it, remind yourself that God has done it before and He can do it again, and speak these truths into your fear. As you speak these truths, I want you to know that God’s word, when you speak it, will accomplish what it sets out to do.
Isaiah 55:11 says, “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” That’s God speaking in Isaiah, so when you speak God’s word over your fear, it will accomplish what it is sent out to do. It will achieve the purpose for which it was sent.
Every time you speak these truths, it’s like a swing of your ax into that fear, and eventually, you will have victory over it.
So every time that fear comes up, just repeat these steps, and receive that freedom and victory over the fear in your life.
15 Bible Verses to Defeat Your Fear
I have 15 Bible verses that I’ve pulled together into a free download that can help you overcome your fear.
You can print it out, hang it on your wall, or hang it on your mirror. Have these verses in front of you so you can speak them out loud when fear comes up in your heart. It’s a great weapon that we can use against the fear that cripples us.
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