One of the things you might be faced with after losing your child is figuring out a way to honor them, to do something in memory of your child. There are so many different ways that you can do this that it can be overwhelming. In this post I want to give you some ideas of things that you can do, big and small, as a way to honor your child’s memory.
To start this post, I want to give you a disclaimer:
Don’t ever feel like you have to do something in memory of your child.
I believe that doing something to honor your child needs to be something that comes from your heart, not because you see someone else doing something and feel like you have to do that too.
It needs to be something that’s very personal to you and when you feel like the time is right. And this might not be for years after you lose your child, or it may be the next month.
There’s no “right way” to bring honor to your child and there’s no “right time” to do it. You’ll know in your heart when you’re ready and I pray this post will help you with some ideas of what you can do at that time to honor your precious child.
Honoring The Memory of Your Child
What I want you to do is use this post as a starting point to get your mind thinking of things that you can do to honor your child.
Again we’re not doing this out of expectation of what other people think that we need to be doing. We’re not doing this because we see someone else doing it and we think we should do it too.
We’re doing this for our own heart, our own healing. I believe this can be a good part of our healing process to be able to do these things to bring a little bit of joy back into our life.
These are just a few of the many different ways that you can honor your child and it’s so personal. You can take what I say and change it to fit the personality of your child or what feels right to your heart. Again, there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
Okay, here are five ideas of things you can do to honor your child’s memory.
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Donate to Charity
Donating to a charity could be a really good idea for you if your child left because of a disease or a sickness. Research and see if there’s an organization who is doing research to fight this disease and find a cure for it.
Donate your money.
If you’re in a place where you can afford to give money to this organization, that could be a great, easy way to help. Every dollar you give is allowing these doctors and scientists to do more research and tests to help find a cure for this disease.
Donate your time.
If you’re not in a place in life where donating money is an option, you can donate your time. Go and volunteer with this organization. Reach out to them and see if they have any need for volunteers. I know that volunteering and helping will bring joy and fulfillment to your heart as well.
Release Balloons
This is something we do on Sam’s birthday every year. We started this tradition his first birthday in heaven, which was actually 9 days after he went to heaven. He went to heaven on July 1 and his birthday was on July 10.
That was such a hard time. I felt like I was receiving blow after blow with his birthday being so close to us losing him.
So when I was thinking of ways I wanted to honor him on his birthday, balloons seemed like the perfect answer.
We had so many people come to honor our Sam with us that day. We filled the balloons with helium and everyone wrote a message to Sam.
Then we released them and watched them float up to heaven to Sam.
I like to think that Sam receives those balloons somehow. That when we get to heaven, he’ll have all those Balloons with all of our messages up there. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it sure does bring my heart joy thinking it.
You could do this on a day like their birthday or their Heaven anniversary. Write a message on the balloon, something that you would want to tell them if they were here, and then release it to the sky. It’s kind of like you’re mailing them a letter in heaven.
Plant a Tree
I met a fellow grieving mom after I lost Sam who did this. She planted a tree at their church and they put a little little plaque in front of it that had his name on it.
I think planting a tree in honor of your child is such a great idea. This tree will continue to grow year after year after year and it’s something you can enjoy over and over again.
I’ve also seen this done at a ballpark. The child was a big baseball player in their local rec league, so their parents planted a tree at the rec league park.
You could also do this in your own yard. Then you could have the joy of watching it grow at your own home.
If you want to do something that’s a little easier, then you can purchase something that you can add to your flower bed in front of your house that is in memory of your child. You can even start a memorial garden if that’s something that would bring you joy!
If a memorial garden sounds like something you’d like to do, I have a post on how you can create your own memorial garden in honor of your child.
Participate in a Memorial Event
Every October there are memorial events in many cities to honor children that have been lost. You can do a Google search for “memorial events near me” or check out the TEARS Foundation for events that you can participate in.
Events like this are easy because you don’t have to plan or put together anything. You just show up.
So this would be a good idea if you’re at a point in your grief journey where you want to do something, but you just don’t have the mental space to plan something.
An added bonus of attending these events is you will be surrounded by other people who have lost their child as well and possibly form some relationships with other couples who get it. Who understand what you’re going through. Finding a grief community is so important in this journey we’re on!
Get a Personalized Piece of Jewelry or Clothing
After we lost Sam, we had several people gift us different things in memory of Sam.
Pieces of Jewelry
I have a few necklaces that people gifted me that have Sam’s picture on them. I have some necklaces and bracelets that have special sayings or Bible verses on them. I have one necklace that has my lifesaver verse on it.
You could also have something that has your child’s name on it or a saying that they used to say all the time, something that’s special to you.
When you wear these pieces of jewelry, it will bring your heart joy because you have something that’s specific and unique to your own journey.
T-Shirt
You can have a t-shirt made that has your child’s name on it or a special saying that means a lot to you. You could even have a shirt made from a picture of your child’s handwriting. You could either find a local t-shirt place that could design this for you or you can also look at Etsy to see if someone sells custom designed shirts.
Again, I want to say that you should never feel pressured to do something because you think it’s something you should be doing or that it’s expected of you in some way. I want you to do something because you want to do it in your heart as part of your grief journey.
It needs to happen in a time where you’re ready to do it and only you know when that will be in your own journey. When it is time, I pray that these ideas will help you know what you can do to honor your precious child.
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