How could losing my son teach me to live intentionally?
When you lose someone close to you, you realize how short life is. You never really know how long you’re going to have with the people you love.
That’s exactly what happened when I lost my son, Sam. Everything became crystal clear.
- My priorities
- The importance of how I spend my time
- All the time I wasted on things that weren’t important
- What I would give to have more time with Sam
In this post I’m going to talk about living intentionally. What does that mean, why is it important, and what are some practical ways to practice intentional living in our lives.
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Why is it important to live intentionally?
Life is busy. But life is also short.
So if you’re not careful, before you know it your life is done and you look back and think, “What just happened?”
Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I had signed up for more things or I wish I had worked more or been busier. It’s always…
“I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.”
And that my friend is what’s most important.
Because life is busy and our schedules are so packed full, we have to be intentional to spend time with the ones that we love.
If I’m not intentional with my time, then I’m not going to spend time with the people I care about, not because I don’t want to, but because I’m so busy.
Losing Sam taught me what’s important and it’s not all the things that fill up our schedule – it’s people.
Family, friends, church family, extended family. That’s what’s important.
We have to be intentional with our choices of what’s important and how we fill our time.
That’s one of the things I want this space to be about. Not only healing from the grief we experienced, but also making the most of the time we have left with each other.
What does intentional living look like
When you think of living intentionally, it might seem overwhelming. It’s not my friend! I’m going to show you how to break it down into some easy steps below.
But let’s talk for a minute on what intentional living looks like.
Being intentional with your time is simply making small, daily decisions to spend time on the things that are most important to you.
That’s it!
And it’s so personal. It will look different for everyone.
For some, it may mean simplifying your life so you have more time to spend at home.
Others it may mean adding in activities to enrich your life and fill your time.
There’s not one right answer.
The steps I’m going to walk you through below will help you figure out what “living intentionally” means to you.
How do I start living intentionally
I believe the first step to living intentionally is to figure out what your goals are in life.
To do this, I want you to envision your life 10 years from now.
- What are you doing?
- Where are you working?
- Who are you surrounded by?
- What does your life look like?
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Okay awesome!
Now that you have that picture in your head, you know what needs to fill up your time to reach those goals.
For me personally, when I look 10 years in the future I see 3 buckets:
- Family Bucket – I’m spending quality time with my family. They are the #1 priority in my life. I give them the most of my time.
- Job Bucket – I see myself with a successful grief and loss coaching program. I’m helping people find hope and see the light in the darkness of the valley of grief.
- Friend Bucket – We’re involved in our homeschool group and friends there. We’re involved with our church family and fellowship with them. These friendships are so life-giving!
So with those 3 things in mind of where I want to go, I can begin to prioritize my time and choices to get me to this goal.
If what I’m about to spend my time doing doesn’t get me closer to these goals, then I don’t do it.
This might mean saying “no” to some things that fill your schedule. It might mean cancelling some things.
Do it friend!
It will be so worth it in 10 years when you look back and see all the time you’ve intentionally spent getting your life where it is right now.
This won’t just happen by chance. You have to be strategic and intentional!
Action Steps
So here’s what I want you to do.
- I want you to get a notebook and pen and pull up your calendar.
- Write down everything that’s in your schedule – all the appointments, all the kids’ practices, all the activities, everything.
- Then write down all the things that aren’t on your schedule – the hours spent scrolling social media, the time spent watching movies with your family, the phone conversations with your mom.
- Now I want you to go through each item on your list and honestly ask yourself, “Is this getting me closer to my goals or taking away the precious time I have to reach these goals?”
- Cross out the things that are a waste of your time. The things that don’t go with one of your goals.
After doing this you’ll begin to have a clear path of what you need to stop doing and what you need to do more of.
Because friend, time is our most precious gift.
Use it wisely and with intention!
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