Losing a child is the hardest thing we will ever have to go through. The grief we experience after our loss is overwhelming. It can be hard to see past the pain, especially in the early days, weeks, months, and years.
You may even start to wonder: Where is God? How can He allow this kind of heartbreak? Does He even see me?
And I completely understand those questions. In fact, I think it’s normal to have those questions at some point in your grief journey.
But here’s the thing, God not only sees your pain and your grief – He’s right there with you in it. I’ve never felt God so close to me as I did after I lost my son, Sam.
As you start to journey into the heart of the Father, what he thinks of you, you will begin to find the comfort, healing, and hope your heart needs.
In this post, I want to dive into four ways that God not only sees your grief, but knows what you’re going through. And how this can help you make it through to the other side of your pain.
God’s Compassionate Heart: He Sees Your Pain
When you’re walking through such deep grief, it’s easy to feel alone. Like no one can really understand what you’re going through because this pain that we feel, it’s unlike any other grief.
However, Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” And I have found this to be true in my own grief journey.
I’ve never felt God closer in my life than after I lost Sam. He’s not distant from your suffering. He’s not watching from far off saying, “I hope you can make it through that.”
No, he’s there for every tear, every heartache, every night you lay awake, every wave of grief. He’s there for it all, walking with you. And when you feel like you can’t take another step? He’s there to pick you up and carry you.
God has compassion over you in your grief. He grieves alongside you. I had a vision after I lost Sam that illustrated this perfectly.
It was me on the floor. I was on my knees and I had my arms crossed over my chest and I was rocking back and forth. I was wailing and crying over Sam not being here.
And then kind of like in the movies it panned out, and behind me was Jesus. He had his arms wrapped around me and he was rocking back and forth with me… And he was crying.
He wasn’t crying because he thought he made a mistake. He was crying because I was crying. He was hurting because I was hurting. This road that I was having to walk that had completely shattered my heart, hurt him too.
So he sat and cried with me.
He’s with you my sweet friend. His compassion is constant, and His heart breaks with yours. He will never leave or forsake you, even in the middle of your deepest sorrow.
A Father Who Knows Loss
Like I said above, it’s easy to feel like no one truly understands what you’re going through, all the emotions that you’re feeling. Finding a community of other grieving moms helps, but there’s someone else that understands. Someone who really knows you.
You see, God understands because God too has experienced the loss of a child. There is a difference though. God willingly gave His only Son, Jesus, for us. And Jesus gave us the ultimate act of love, he took on all of our sins and died in our place, so we wouldn’t have to.
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” -2 Corinthians 5:21
So God’s experience of loss gives Him a unique empathy for your grief. He’s not just watching your pain and suffering from far off, He’s a Father who has walked the path of heartache and loss.
Because of this, God can offer you a level of comfort and understanding that no one else can. When you come to God with your pain and your grief, you’re coming to a Father who knows exactly what it feels like to lose someone so precious.
Not only does God understand your grief, but He also shows us that death is not the end of the story. Through the resurrection of Jesus, we see that there is hope beyond the grave.
I know that this doesn’t take away the pain of losing your child, but it does offer hope that one day, we will see our child again. And when we see them again, we will never have to say goodbye again.
God’s Faithfulness in the Storm
In the middle of your grief, it can be hard to see God’s faithfulness. When you feel like you’ve been through a battle and are waving the white flag of surrender, you might wonder, “God are you even there?”
But the Bible reassures us that God’s faithfulness is unchanging. Deuteronomy 7:9 reminds us, “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him”
And the things that happen in your life don’t change the fact that God is faithful. And that’s good news! Because losing your child can make you feel like everything is unstable. So the fact that God’s faithfulness never changes, even after losing your child, is a constant that you can confidently build your life on.
Take a moment to think back on your life. Bring back to your mind all the times that God has been there for you. Can’t you see the threads of God’s faithfulness woven through your story?
Maybe it’s in small ways:
+A kind word from a friend
+A moment of peace in the chaos
Or maybe it’s in bigger ways:
+Financial provision
+A breakthrough in your healing journey
God has been there for you so many times.
And God never changes. So the same God that was there for you then, will be there for you now.
It’s okay if you don’t feel it right now. Sometimes you sing it because you believe it. And sometimes you sing it until you believe it.
Faith is about trusting that God is who He says He is, even when life doesn’t make sense.
God’s faithfulness lets you know that He will be with you every step of your grief journey.
Healing Through God’s Love
When I lost Sam, my heart didn’t just break in two pieces. It shattered into a million tiny pieces. Once the dust settled after losing Sam, I looked around and saw what was my heart, shattered all over the floor.
As I was looking at my heart, I thought, “There’s no way my heart will ever be whole again.” How could it? It’s in a million pieces. There’s no way anyone would be able to pick up every tiny piece and put it back together.
But my friend, I have good news for you.
After I looked around at my shattered heart all over the floor and surveyed the debris that was my life, I looked up. And standing there was Jesus, eyes full of love, with his hand held out to me.
He was ready to not only be there for me, not only to carry me through the hardest thing I’ve ever had to walk through, but he was ready to heal my heart.
He wasn’t scared of how long it would take. He wasn’t scared of how many pieces of my heart he would have to pick up.
Day after day, month after month, year after year, he bent down and picked up one little piece of my heart at a time. And starting putting my heart back together with his love.
Now, because of him, because of his faithfulness, because of his love, my heart is no longer shattered, but it’s whole again. It’s misshapen and scarred and has a big hole in it where Sam should be, but he put it back together enough that I can love again, I can laugh again, I can feel joy again.
And I know he can do the same for you.
Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
As you walk through your grief journey, God’s love will sustain you. It’s His love that will hold you together when you feel like you’re life is falling apart. And over time, just like he did for me, I know his love will bring healing to your shattered heart.
It doesn’t mean that you will never feel the pain of your grief again, but it will help you find the strength to keep going, to keep living this life. It will fill the empty places in your heart with hope and peace.
And one of the most beautiful things about God’s love is that it’s not something you have to earn or strive for. It’s freely given. So let His love surround you and comfort you in your grief.
Let it remind you that you are not alone, that you are seen, and that you are deeply, deeply loved by your Father.
Reflection Questions:
1-How does knowing that God understands your pain change the way you approach Him in your grief?
2-What are some ways you’ve experienced God’s faithfulness in your life in the past?
3-What are some ways you’ve experienced God’s faithfulness in your grief?
Looking to dive deeper into the heart of God in your grief?
If you’re wanting to dive deeper into who God is to you, I’ve created a resource that I believe will be so helpful for you. My “Heart of the Father” Bible reading plan will guide you through key scriptures that reveal who God is – His love, His hope, and His promises for you in your grief.
This reading plan includes:
+31 days of scriptures to help you really understand who God is to you in your grief
+Daily study questions and prayers
+A short devotional all about the heart of the Father
+Scripture coloring pages
+More!
If you’re ready to spend time with God and experience who He is to you in a fresh way, grab your copy of the “Heart of the Father” Bible reading plan today. I pray that as you go through the next 31 days of scriptures, that you will draw closer to the One who can carry you through.
More Ideas for Healing From Your Grief
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