After losing your child, God’s love in your grief is a powerful thing. It’s the one constant that we can build our shattered lives on. It’s the one thing that can see you through after experiencing the hardest loss you can ever experience. And this post will show you how.
God’s Love in Your Grief
If you were to ask me, “Courtney, what is the one thing that helped you get through after losing your child?”, there would only be one answer. God. He’s the only way.
There are so many characteristics of God that you can fall back on as grieving parents. In this post I want to dive specifically into the love of God as grieving parents.
His love in your grief is a constant that you can always count on. It will always be there. Even when nothing else makes sense and everything hurts.
His love is what can bring healing to your heart, piece by piece.
This post is dedicated to that love. The love that will see you through the hardest storm you will ever face.
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The Day My Entire Life Shattered
Before I lost Sam, I had walked through hard things. Relationships that ended, lost friendships, things that at the time were really hard.
I believe all of those hard things I went through in my life were preparing me for the hardest thing that I would ever have to walk through, which is losing my son.
When I lost my son, everything in my life was obliterated.
Matthew 7:24-27 says,
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
The wise man built his house on the rock, and because he built it on that solid foundation, when the rains and floods and winds came, even though it beat on the house, the house did not fall.
And why? Because it was built on the rock.
That’s why it is SO important that you know who God is to you. If you don’t know who he is and what he thinks of you, I have a free 31 day scripture calendar that goes all into that. You can access that free download here.
After I lost Sam, there was nothing left. The pain and the grief and the sadness that I felt after I lost Sam was like nothing I had ever felt before.
When that storm hit the day that we lost Sam, it completely shattered every part of my heart, every part of my life.
When the dust cleared after that storm hit and I looked up, do you know who I saw? Do you know who was there, standing in the debris looking at me with love in his eyes, holding out his hand to help pick me up? Jesus.
His love was the only thing I had left. Everything else was destroyed.
But you know what? His love was enough. It was enough to pick me up out of the debris that was my life and carry me out.
Psalm 59:10 says, “My God in his steadfast love will meet me.”
God in his steadfast love will meet you right there, in the mess, in the sadness, in the pain. Your grief will not scare Jesus away.
The Depth of God’s Love in Your Grief
When we say “love” there are different types of love. It’s one word, but it means a lot of different things.
I really love donuts. However, when I say “I love donuts” it means something different than when I say “I love my husband.”
It’s a different depth and emotion that I feel when I talk about the love for my husband than I do my love for donuts.
And that’s how it is with God’s love.
The love that we experience as we’re going through grief is a different depth of love than the love that we feel when everything’s going good. They’re both important, but the love of God when you lose your child is a different kind of love than before we lost our child.
Because the pain that we feel is so deep, God meets us with love that is equally as deep.
And this love that helps us through is something that will never be taken from us.
Romans 8:38-39 says:
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing can take God’s love from us. Nothing.
That moment that you lost your child – how big and deep that pain was, can’t take God’s love from you. In fact, because of your grief, he came closer to you.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18)
The deeper your grief and the deeper your sadness, the closer he pulls you in.
He will hold you as you cry. He will pick you up and carry you every time you can’t take another step. He will be there every time you call out to him on your grief journey. Every single time.
And I can say this with confidence because I know who he is. His love is steadfast, it’s unwavering. His love isn’t scared of your pain. His love is there for you.
The Greatest Thing God’s Love Did For Us as Grieving Parents
The greatest thing that God did for us as grieving parents, the greatest gift he could give us…
>Isn’t the healing he pours out on your heart
>It’s not carrying you when you can’t take another step
>It’s not being there every time you call out to him
Throughout my grief journey, I’ve experienced all of these things – and all of that has literally been life-changing for me.
However, this demonstration of God’s love is greater than all of that:
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son” (John 3:16)
I lost my son, but God willingly gave up his son for us. As a grieving mother, I can’t even comprehend that. To willingly give up your son? That’s a love that my mind literally can’t comprehend.
And yet, that’s exactly what God did for us.
That love from the Father, and that sacrifice that Jesus made, is the source of our hope.
>If God hadn’t given up his son…
>If Jesus hadn’t willingly died for us…
Then when we lost our child, we never would have been able to see them again.
But because of this demonstration of God’s love towards us, Jesus’ sacrifice gave us hope.
Hope that we WILL see our babies again. When they left this Earth, it wasn’t goodbye – it was “see you later”.
And when we see them again we will never have to say goodbye again.
When we lost our child, while it’s excruciating and the pain we have to walk through is awful, and the things that we have to learn to live with we should never have to learn to live with, we do all of that with HOPE.
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
So as your walking this very hard road of grief, I want you to remember the greatest love that has ever been given, produced the greatest gift that we will have ever received:
Hope.
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