I believe there are certain things that you need to prioritize in this grief journey that you’re having to walk. These things will really help to bring healing to your heart, healing to your body, and allow you to be able to start living again after losing your child.
Things to Prioritize in Your Grief Journey
It’s hard to really think of prioritizing anything after losing your child, especially earlier in your grief journey. If you’ve just lost your child, you might not have the mental space to really think about prioritizing anything other than surviving every day. And that’s exactly what you need to focus on.
But if you’re at the point where you’re a little bit further in your grief journey, then I want to bring you four things that you need to prioritize in your grief journey to help bring continued healing to your heart.
It can be hard to think about living again after losing your child, however, learning how to live again is so important in making it in this life without your child. I promise if you keep walking with Jesus, he’ll continue healing your heart to where you can live again, you can laugh again, you can feel joy again.
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Time with Jesus
Jesus is the only way that we can make it through. There is no other way we can survive after walking through a loss that’s as deep as we are having to walk through. So spending time with him is number one.
Now when I say “time with Jesus”, it doesn’t have to look a certain way. It doesn’t have to look like that person you saw on Instagram or even what my quiet time looks like. Your quiet time is very personal to you.
I believe in different seasons of your grief journey it will look different. You will have more mental space to do more at certain points of your grief journey, and other times the mental space is just not there and you have to keep it simple. And that’s okay!
Any time that you can spend with him will not be wasted. If it’s 3 hours or if it’s 10 minutes. I believe God will honor it. You will walk away feeling renewed, restored, and strengthened to be able to keep going, step after step down this road that you’re having to walk.
Morning Routine
Your time with Jesus could be a routine that you do every morning. I have an easy 3 step quiet time routine that might be perfect for you if you are looking to add this to your morning routine. This will be very personal to you, but you can use that post as a starting point to what you want your morning time to look like.
Listen to the Bible
Listening to the Bible is a great option if you don’t have the mental space to read anything. You can listen to the Bible while you’re getting ready for work, while you’re doing the dishes or some of your other chores. Putting the word in your heart any way that you can will never return void.
The Bible app has an audio version where you can just pull up what you want to listen to and hit the play button and someone will read it to you.
Utilize Your Commute
If you work outside of the home, you might not have the time for a sit down morning routine. If that’s the case, then your commute to work is the perfect time for you to spend with Jesus! You could listen to the Bible on your phone using the app I talked about above. Then you could spend the rest of the ride praying and talking with Jesus.
Time with Others
Spending time with others can look however you need it to look.
Family
Time with your family is the most important thing (outside of time with Jesus). As we know all too well, we never know what tomorrow holds. So spending time together with your family, making those memories, I believe will fill your heart and can bring healing to your heart.
Church Family and Friends
You can also spend time with your church family and friends. When I lost Sam my church family was a very key part in me making it through. They were there for me and they prayed for me when I could not pray for myself. A lot of times your family might not be believers, so they don’t understand or know how to pray for you. But if you have a church family, someone who believes like you, then they can pray for you. They can stand in the gap for you and be there for you.
Grief Community
You can get plugged into a grief community, a community of other grieving moms who really understand what it’s like to to walk through what you’re having to walk through. This can be either in person with an organization like Grief Share, or online with a Facebook group like While We’re Waiting.
Yourself
The third thing you need to prioritize in your grief journey is you. You Mama. You need to prioritize you.
This grief journey is so hard and it affects every single part of us. I believe that when you walk through grief that’s as deep as what we’ve had to walk through it changes who you are. You are not the same person as you were before you lost your child. You need to take care of every part of you: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Get Help
If you’re really struggling with making it through, go talk to a therapist or a trusted pastor in your life. This can help you process your grief and all of the difficult emotions you have to face in this grief journey.
Go Outside
I’m a big fan of going outside, specifically walking outside. Walking outside has so many benefits in your grief journey. Step outside, take some big, deep breaths of that fresh oxygen. It’ll be so good for you mentally, emotionally, and it’ll be good for your physical body (which also is affected in your grief).
Get a Massage
Tension and stress can be held in your muscles. According to the American Psychological Association:
“When the body is stressed, muscles tense up. Muscle tension is almost a reflex reaction to stress—the body’s way of guarding against injury and pain. With sudden onset stress, the muscles tense up all at once, and then release their tension when the stress passes. Chronic stress causes the muscles in the body to be in a more or less constant state of guardedness.”
So getting a massage would be a perfect way to get all that tension and stress worked out of your muscles.
Treat Yourself
Treating yourself to something you love can be a fun way to do something for your emotional health. It’s okay to do something for you. As moms we always put others first, but bringing joy back in your life is key in helping you learn to start living again after such deep loss. So go and treat yourself to something fun.
Give Yourself Grace
There are so many hard things that we have to walk through in this grief journey. It can be overwhelming thinking about all of them. So I want you to just give yourself grace and know that what you’ve had to walk through has affected every part of you.
But you will make it through. You will. It’s a process. It’s not something that’s going to happen overnight.
But step by step, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, as you keep going and you keep walking this journey with Jesus, he’s so faithful and he’ll continue to heal your heart.
It’s not going to be quick, but the good news is the God we serve never gets tired, he never grows weary, and he’s in this for the long haul with you.
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